So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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