Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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