I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
