I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
