Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
