I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
