I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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