I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize