I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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