Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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