he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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