found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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