covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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