What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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