Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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