Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
