My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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