ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
