Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
