Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
