he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
