don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
