he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
