She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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