i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
