I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
