It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
