I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
