Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
