he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I need a beard to bite.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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