do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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