Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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