Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
