Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
wow bdsm is so cute
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
