Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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