Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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