Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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