last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
