Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize