Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
