my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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