Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So many bounce houses so little time
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
