During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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