Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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