im about as happy as oj after his trial
i think i have two assholes
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
