is wine microwaveable?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
