I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
