are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
