I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
