They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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