through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
