Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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