Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
