Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
do nipples grow back?
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