mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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