I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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