God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
