the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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