Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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