you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
