Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize