Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

I'm really into asian looking animals

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(908): View more from New Jersey

It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers

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(516): View more from New York

I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.

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(512): View more from Texas

watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos

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(850): View more from Florida

HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.

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(302): View more from Delaware

dude wtf why are there forks in my wall

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night

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