So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
