Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize