I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
