exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
