my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
